365 Days of Impacts

I never physically had kids myself. While this may be a true statement, I do have kids. They come from another mother. They are all very different and beautiful in their own ways. The first born was Katherine Pamela Williams, I call her Kate. But she goes by Kat. And sometimes Katherine. Never Kitty. But she lets me call her Kate. She is the one that emphatically reminds me that I DO have kids. I appreciate that - because it is hard to come into a relationship with someone who has kids and establish yourself as anything more than a friend, let alone a mother 'figure'. Or worse, the step MONSTER. Kate and I had a slow start - she was the last of the three kids to have met me, and she was very methodical and deliberate in her desire to wait to meet me. I was actually thankful for it, because it was nerve racking. The day we met, she was cleaning the kitchen in Dennis' apartment, which she had recently moved into with him. I didn't know what to expect. I ...

Part of being authentic is saying what you really think, even if it is not socially acceptable. I'm not gonna lie, the thing I looked forward to least when I got married was being a step mom. And luckily, I came into it later than most - the kids were 13, 17, 18 at the time. Not great timing in the life of any child going through a divorce. As a step parent, you get all the responsibility with none of the authority . At the time I thought 'I live enough of this situation at my daily job, I didn't need it in my personal life too'. Being a step parent is a thankless job. Argue if you will, but it is the truth. You are the outsider from the get go, and have to fight your way into the inner circle of the nuclear family, their history, their inside jokes. You get the inevitable "you're not my mother, you can't tell me what to do." Or worse, just plain being ignored. And the only one who really wants you there to begin with is your partner, who typi...

Many of you know that I love to sing. On my wedding day, I thought there would be nothing more special than to sing a song to Dennis. I wanted it to be a bluegrass song. I wanted it to be a song that most people knew the words to the chorus so they could sing along. I settled upon You are my Sunshine - an old bluegrass staple written in 1939 by Jimmie Davis and Charlie Mitchell. It is one of the state songs of Louisiana. Despite its happy melody and chorus, it is quite a sad song if you look up the real lyrics. So, I decided to rewrite the lyrics of the song to fit the man I was going to sing it to... The other night dear as I lay sleeping I dreamed you held me in your arms And when I woke dear, my heart was taken Stolen by your ever loving charm (Chorus) You are my sunshine, my only sunshine You make me happy when skies are gray You'll never know dear, how much I love you please don't take my sunshine away. When I am down dear, your spirit lifts me Yo...

My Bugman, My Boyscout, My Husband, Dennis Dale Williams. For 39 years I was in search of my match, my soulmate - the person who like in Jerry McGuire "completes me". While I've only known him since 2004, I feel like I've known him in former lives. He just gets me. The beauty is that he does not discount who I've been in the past, he doesn't stifle who I am today, who I am becoming, he does not expect me to be something I'm not, he encourages me to be the best I can at what I am interested in, and he keeps me from doing things that put my life at risk (well, basically when it comes to asthma - he can't control the way that I do like to dance on the edges of cliffs and on rickety bridges more stories to come). As they say, timing is everything, and in this case MANY VARIABLES had to align for us to be together. Dennis was separated and had a Harley Sportster motorcycle for sale that he had bought for his soon-to-be ex-wife. He had told his former c...

Christy Suzanne White, My Sister. As you grow up, your parents and siblings usually impact you the most because they are the closest to you in so many ways. Since I can remember, Christy has been an inspiration to me. When I was little, I emulated her as a toddler- all the way up through high school, to the point where I did most of the same things she did. As a young girl, I idolized my sister - and wanted so much to be like her. Christy was good at sports. Put it this way, Christy got all of the physical genes in our family. She was a natural athlete. I however, had a super hard time with anything that required hand/eye coordination, or physicality of any kind. She was awesome at Volley Ball, Golf, Swimming, Track, Cheerleading, you name it. Most of those things I tried out for, but got cut. I just didn't have those genes. Christy was also an incredible leader. She was class president, led student government, organized most events in high school. I wanted to be just ...

I believe that I got the love of funk from my dad. Back in his day it was Ray Charles. One of the best memories I have of my dad is a trip we took in Christy's convertible from Atlanta to Albuquerque New Mexico. We were delivering Christy's car to her after she had accepted a position during the dot com boom at a startup called Super Groups. She had gone out early to take the job, had her stuff shipped from Atlanta out there, and then we drove her car out so she could have it out there. I had taken road trips with my family before and short ones with my Dad in Michigan, but this was the longest road trip we had taken together up to that point. We rode with the top down listening to all kinds of music. A little known fact of my dad is that he LOVED Prince. Mainly because my dad couldn't escape a good beat. But the funniest thing was we were listening to Prince's song Sexy M%&F$@. If you don't know, that song has a killer beat, and one that drummers love...

George Edward White, my father. His boyhood nickname was ‘Nibs’. As a boy, he had two front teeth that made him look like a rabbit.  The biggest impact that my father has made on my life is positive attitude and perseverence.  This man has had hardship since day 1 and you’d never know it.  I have learned so much just by watching his calm, positive steadfastness.  He carries on, with no pity party.  As a boy, he was born with his hip out of the socket, and back in the 30s, the treatment was to put him in a full-on body cast, with a bent leg and stilted shoe.  How he learned to walk in this contraption with crutches is mind boggling.  All he wanted to do was be a normal kid and play baseball like the other little kids.  He rose above this disability, and went on to play baseball later on in high school. This was the first of five hip treatments he would have throughout his lifetime.  He had 3 total hip replacements, and on the 4th, there wa...

Joanne Poteete White, AKA JoPo.  My mother is one of the biggest impacts on my life.  So many character traits, too many to count,  I got from being raised by her.  Her influence on my life is unmeasurable.  From her I get my directness - sometimes to a fault, I call 'em like I see 'em.  I don't like to beat around the bush - I hit you between the eyes.  For the most part, this is why you always know where you stand with me - Thanks MOM.  My mother taught me that it takes all types to make the world go 'round.  Mom taught me to treat everyone with respect, no matter their background, sexual affiliation, race, religion, or gender.  If I could be half as caring as she is when someone is sick or down and out - anyone needing care taking - is lucky to have her.  This is something I strive for as I get older.  I was never a mother, but because of her mothering, I believe that I am an honest, up front, truthful wife, sister, daugh...

My family is probably the hugest impact on my life. My friends are probably the second biggest impact, many I also consider family. Both my family and friends have been my support, my teachers, my inspiration, my rocks, my shoulders to cry on, my causes for celebration. I have many family members that I will try to do justice to explain the impacts they have had on my life. The first ones being my mother, father and sister. While one passage cannot do them justice, I will try to sum it up, but they will pop up in many more funny and inspirational stories over the coming days and months in this blog account of my life. In addition to them, I have family members in New York, Ohio and Alabama that I'll also tell stories about. So many good stories of lessons learned, fellowship and camaraderie over the years. Most recently, I will try to account for the impacts of the newst members of my family - those being my husband, bonus children and St. Louis family. And to my friends ...

One of the fondest memories I have of Nana was when most of my cousins were teens, and I was just a tween, they would go to new years parties in Athens when we were there for the holidays. I was too young to go to these parties. So, I'd stay home with Nana and watch Lawrence Welk and his bubbles ring in the new year. Nana never drank Champagne - she celebrated with Boones Farm Strawberry Hill! And she would always let me have some with her - it was our little celebration together. This wasn't about drinking underage, or getting drunk. It was about celebrating each other, old times together and how blessed we were to have had them! Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind? Should old acquaintance be forgot, and old lang syne? We two have run about the slopes, and picked the daisies fine; But we've wandered many a weary foot, since auld lang syne. We two have paddled in the stream, from morning sun till dine†; But seas between us broad have roared sin...

Wilna Mae Poteete. I called her Nana. She was my maternal grandmother, born in 1909. She was so much to me - and I only knew her for 16 years. Many kids have special relationships with their grandparents and mine was with her. There is so much about her that I cannot even explain - she was that proverbial wise old owl that sometimes said nothing but said EVERYTHING at the same time. She was literally the only grandparent I knew, as the rest either passed away before I was born or were not in our lives. Nana was a Taurus like me, and I was as bull headed as she was. She lived in Athens, Alabama where we went to visit every June/July until she as gone. 'Willie', as my dad called her, loved to watch football with him and I know he misses, because none of us like to sit and watch sports like he does. But Nana did and they were like two peas in a pod. She could tell a 'box' cake from one made from scratch almost by sniffing it and heaven forbid eat the entire piece...

In 5th grade I was "going" with Mark Nietubyc. You remember what it was like to 'go with' someone - that basically meant you were exclusive to that person. In 5th grade, at age 10/11, at least in the 70s - to 'go with' someone was the closest you could get to dating without being able to drive yet. So, I am completely obsessed with Mark, and I write him a love note. I had never even kissed him but I was obsessed. Now, get your mind out of the gutter. This was NOT the equivalent of kids today sexting before they are to young to know the repercussions - this was a 'roses are red, violets are blue' type of love note. I basically expressed my love for him and how obsessed I was - that I could not stop thinking about him. Mark then proceeds to lose said note - probably before he even read it. But it wasn't long before everyone knew just how obsessed I was with Mark. Turns out, he lost the note in front of Mr. Zaranek's gym class door - th...

So when I was in 4th grade, I was in a split class. My teacher was Mr. Mazmanian, but he let us call him Mr. Maz. This was by far my favorite class in elementary school. What was so cool about it was that as a 4th grader, I was in a class with older kids, we were all learning the same things, but they were older and could help us if we didn't get something. The older kids learned to work with younger children which reinforced our confidence. And likewise they provided emotional maturity, leadership and academic skills that we could model. The best part was that Mr. Maz took us home to have dinner with him and his wife in pairs. Sometimes we were paired with a friend in our grade, and sometimes not. He was super cool and his wife was really nice. It was the first time in my life that I thought of my teacher as a friend rather than an authority figure. I still abided by his authority as an adult and a teacher - but it was the first time that I realized he was real and huma...

One of the biggest impacts on my life (literally) was getting punched in the stomach on the playground by Vince Galici. He completely knocked the wind out of me. Mrs. Scott the playground lady saved me and took me down to the school nurse, and then to the principal's office. They sequestered both me and Vince to find out why he had punched me. I had asked him when his mother was due. I think that this was around the time I was in Mrs. Diener's class ( my 3rd grade teacher who was pregnant). Turns out Vince's mom was not pregnant, she was just a little on the heavy-set side. So, kids - NEVER EVER assume someone is pregnant and ask when they are due. It was an innocent question that led to a trip to the principal's office for both of us. I'm sure the adults thought this was hilarious at the time. To this day, if I even remotely think someone might be pregnant, I wait for them to tell me.

I went to Clinton Valley Elementary School. It was roughly 4 miles from my house at 16 Mile and Groesbeck. I rode the bus every day along with the other kids. I had many great memories at this school. So much was learned during this 6 years of my life. One thing that is important to know is I was a HORRIBLE student in kindegarten and particularly first grade. I cried almost every day before school because I didn't want to go. I would throw tantrums that literally frustrated my mother to no end. When I was in Kindergarten, my parents went to the Bahamas with my Uncle Bert and Aunt Dawn, and they left my maternal grandmother Nana in Michigan to take care of us. I threw myself down on the sidewalk every day before school in a baby crying fit tantrum. Nana didn't know what to do. I think one of the days she let me stay home - but when mom called to check in, she made Nana make me go. My first grade teacher, Mrs. Seppela sat down and cried with me one day in exasperation...

In January of 1988, I moved to Atlanta, Georgia from Columbia, South Carolina. The only things I had to my name were a prayer and a smile. I lived with my sister on her pull out couch. Christy always told me a smile is the universal language. A smile disarms a potentially tense situation and my smile got me through so many of these. I did not have a job, but I worked temp jobs until something came along. It didn't take me long to find a job. I basically exaggerated my skillset on the MAC and said I could design newspaper ads. This got my foot in the door at HiFi Buys. I had worked on MACs to do the student newspaper in school, but not to the degree that I led them to believe. Sometimes you have to believe in your ability to learn something new. I knew I could learn it. I knew what I was capable of. So, I didn't have the experience *YET* to back it up. The thing I learned from this time in my life was that if you set your mind to it, you can do it. Believe you can...

When I graduated college in December 1987, my dad also retired that month in that year. Mom and Dad had always planned to move back south. My Mom wanted it way sooner than my dad. When we moved to Detroit, Dad always said it was only for a few years. 17 years later my mom was about to leave and go back herself. The winters were killer, and my mom missed her family in Athens. We piled in our brown van and took off for Florida. They originally thought they were going to move back to Florida. That was the plan. While we traveled around Florida from the east coast to the west coast, we visited old friends of theirs like the Filippi's - we stayed in their RV in their driveway. It was GLAMPING at it's finest, and it was fun. I looked at this as a sort of a college graduation trip - back to the old stomping grounds. We went to Ron Jon's Surf shop in Cocoa Beach, saw the old house in Titusville. We would drop dad off in the morning to golf, then mom and I would go on a...

Early morning, April 4th.  Shots ring out in the Memphis sky.  Free at last, they took your life, but they could not take your pride.  MLK day.  Some folks just see this as another day off.  But this day is so much more. Today marks the 50th anniversary celebrating one of the rarest people on the planet. Martin Luther King belongs up there with Mother Theresa, Ghandi, Nelson Mandela.  While I was just a wee 3 years old when he was tragically killed, he and his freedom riders made a huge impact on my life later when I studied it in school.  Since then I have been fascinated with civil rights, equal rights.  Treating people differently because of the color of their skin, their religion, their gender is WRONG. In 2016, civil rights leader and freedom rider John Lewis came to the Weather Channel to speak on climate change.  He is the representative for the 5th congressional district in Georgia - a district I live in and vote for.  Wh...

I've been in New Orleans this weekend visiting my bonus son Brad and his wife Valentina. They just bought their first single family home and we were helping do some work on it prior to them moving in. While we were here, the Atlanta Falcons and the New Orleans Saints both played in playoff games for the Superbowl and lost. The difference here is the fans. I am blown away by how supportive the fans are to the saints, win or lose. These people are CRAZY for their football team. White, Black, Creole, Asian, you name it - even the dogs are Saints fans. This is something I have never experienced in my entire lifetime - growing up with the Detroit Lions, the Tigers and the Pistons - my first experience with being a fairweather fan. Back in my youth, none of the teams were that great, and they had fans, but not like the Saints. The Minnesota Vikins fans are the same. - I think of my cousin Pete - losing his mind on the other side of that Saints game last night. It was an awesome...

Since 1996, I have been in a bowling league on Thursday nights that started with those of us in advertising in the Atlanta Area. It started with 6 teams, and my first team was called Great Balls of Fire!   The league now has a full 24 teams - taking up the full bowling alley. I had the distinct honor of developing the logo for the league back in the day. Over the years, my team members changed, our name became 'Bowlus Interruptus' and is now the 'Glory Bowl'.  As you can imagine, the league has awesome team names like "Don't Give a Split", "Ermagerd, Berling", "Get off my Lawn" and "Pho King All Day and Pho King All Night" I was the worst bowler in the league. Still am. So as a distraction, I developed the "turkey dance" which was something that started with a bowler on the league getting a 3-strike turkey. Then, I would proceed to gobble like a turkey, and do a running dive roll onto the lanes, breakdance a...

When I left Detroit, it was to attend the University of South Carolina. The USC Fighting Gamecocks. This was a turning point in my life. Not only culturally, but in so many coming of age ways. I originally had a scholarship to be a manager on the volleyball team because Coach Drake from Chippewa was the girls Volleyball coach there my freshman year, so I got a discount on my tuition. Christy was also a manager. A few weeks into the season, Coach Drake decided to go back to Michigan, leaving me and Christy without "jobs" and our break on tuition. Thus, my first jo b in college was in the Bates House cafeteria. Eventually, I moved up to working at the school paper.  USC is where I met so many friends that are still with me to this day. Many here in Atlanta, and others scattered all over the US of A. Thank GOD for the "FaceBook" that enables us all to keep up with each other in all parts of the country. I went in without a major, claimed Fine Arts at...

What kind of bees make milk? One of the things that I have learned and has gotten better as I get older is to be grateful no matter what. If it is something bad happening to me, I ALWAYS TRY TO FIND THE GOOD and be grateful for it. I thank people. You would be surprised how many people do not do this one simple thing . It has created a society of entitled, selfish twits that think the world owes them something. Some of this I learned from maw and paw. It comes from being happy with what you have and being thankful for it. It could disappear at any time. Many people do not know any better, and sometimes I find that refreshing. That is not to say stay stuck where you are, but be grateful for what you have and gracious about it to anyone involved in helping you get it.   The old adage, you catch more flies with honey is so true. Even if the person is being mean to you, do your best to stay kind, but assertive. The other thing I try to do is see all sides and "walk a ...

One of the things that I am most thankful for in my life is the lesson my maw and paw taught me about personal responsibility financial fortitude. I got this from my parents who lived on 50K a year for a family of 4 in 1983. Granted, this was almost 40 years ago, but that is still not a lot of money even back then. I cannot stress the importance of this lesson enough: When I drove their cars, I was to be respectful and not showboat or do stupid stuff (minus the time Rich Jolly put the red car in neutral at a light and slammed the car into drive, effectively dropping the transmission) - like let another person drive.   Their property, their money - it was to be respected.   We were not brought up on a "disposable" mindset. No matter what it was, when we purchased it, we were expected to take good care of it so that it lasted longer. When I went to college, they cosigned on a student loan that I HAD TO PAY BACK (thanks MOM).   When I turned 18, I went to college,...

OK so I felt the need to write about the national championship today/tonight. Being from Alabama but living in Georgia - it is hard for me to choose sides. This is such a great matchup - I wish both teams could win. I know my Alabama family is rooting for the Crimson Tide. My cousin Harlow is a Georgia student as are a bunch of my neighbors, and pretty much most of my Atlanta friends are Georgia fans. One thing is for certain, this is a game for the ages. I love college football - way more than Pro - because they are fighting so hard whereas Pro I feel like they are paid too much to really give a crap. In college there is so much heart and skin in the game - to be at the top. Although the gamecocks have not made it to a national championship, I do love my gamecocks! May the best team win!

My first job ever was a paper route bestowed on me at 12 years old by Matt Hammett because he had outgrown it (that is what happens when you get your drivers license). For the millenials reading this - a paper route was something back in the day when papers were PRINTED and not online, and you had to actually deliver them daily to people who paid for subscriptions. This was before the interwebs and cell phones. I delivered the Macomb Daily to 55 customers through rain, sleet, snow and wind. In the winter I'd load up the plastic sled with my papers, and walk the 55 customer route, delivering the papers to the inside of my customer's storm doors around Charter Oaks and Fox Chase. It usually took about an hour after school. On Sunday's, I would come to "collect". One of my customers nicknamed me the Paper Doll. This would later become my CB handle on trips down to Athens to visit Nana - the truckers LOVED it! In the winter, I would look like the Micheli...

20033 Great Oaks Circle South, Mt. Clemens Michigan. 16 Mile and Groesbeck. Charter Oaks is where I grew up. Until recently, this was the one place that I had lived the longest in my life. 17 years to be exact. I grew up in a townhouse complex, full of kids my age that were super tight. We had each others back in Charter Oaks. Everyone's sisters/brothers knew each other and stuck up for one another. The Pawlickis, the Hafners, the Knechtels, the Burbarys, the Gianokopolous', the Iskens, the Franzs, the Hammetts, the LaRivieres, the Heises, the Johnsons, the Corios, Lisa Mitchell, Becky Taupin, Leslie Kistler, Kenny Lord, Ken Saviko, the Greshams...and the list goes on and on (sorry if I unintentionally have left anyone out).   We all went through the 70s and 80s together. Those awkward teenage years that would later become fodder for FREAKS and GEEKS . It was an incredible place to grow up! Hanging out at the pool in the summertime playing marco polo, shark and havi...

One of the biggest things that has impacted my life is being raised in Detroit. The Motor City - specifically the Automobile industry, Chrysler impacted my life greatly. I can pick almost any car on the road today and tell you the make/model/year - keenly aware of cars. My father worked for Chrysler for more than 30 years. That type of loyalty and devotion to one company is unheard of today. Not only that, a company's devotion to it's employees (i.e. my father's pension plan) is something that is a thing of the past and none of us will ever see again. My dad was laid off in the 70s from Chyrsler - prior to the Lee Iacocca era - yet he remained loyal and went back to work for them once things got better. The attitude I get for handling adversity, I get from watching my mom and dad go through this. The struggle was real for our family during this time.   We grew up in a time where we didn't have everything we wanted, but we were happy with what we had becau...