The Bugman

My Bugman, My Boyscout, My Husband, Dennis Dale Williams. For 39 years I was in search of my match, my soulmate - the person who like in Jerry McGuire "completes me". While I've only known him since 2004, I feel like I've known him in former lives. He just gets me. The beauty is that he does not discount who I've been in the past, he doesn't stifle who I am today, who I am becoming, he does not expect me to be something I'm not, he encourages me to be the best I can at what I am interested in, and he keeps me from doing things that put my life at risk (well, basically when it comes to asthma - he can't control the way that I do like to dance on the edges of cliffs and on rickety bridges more stories to come). As they say, timing is everything, and in this case MANY VARIABLES had to align for us to be together. Dennis was separated and had a Harley Sportster motorcycle for sale that he had bought for his soon-to-be ex-wife. He had told his former co-workers from Enterpulse (a place I currently worked and that he had formerly worked at and was a co-founder of) that he was on the market again. One of the coworkers tried to set us up earlier, but I said I wasn't interested. A few months later, the other coworker was texting with him and me separately one night and was secretly matchmaking us. She found out that I had always wanted to ride a motorcycle and start my own girl biker gang, but I didn't know how. She found out I loved Jack Daniels and sang in a band. He too loved Jack Daniels and live music. She wanted to introduce us over text and I told her no, to give him my email and I'd follow up regarding the bike. We started emailing, then traded text info. I told him I was interested in learning how to ride the bike, and then maybe I would buy it from him. At the time, I also sang in a band called Savannah Red, and we had a gig that weekend. He knew my lead guitarist Tommy Hill. So he rode halfway to Athens to our gig on his motorcycle in subzero weather, uphill both ways, to come see us play under the guise of seeing and catching up with his old friend Tommy. I literally had 5 minutes to meet him and talk to him before we had to hop back on stage. By the time we were done with the set, he was gone. Then, my roommate Nikki Chabrier set up a "group date" with folks from Enterpulse who used to know Dennis and we got to talk more. I learned he was separated, and working on getting a divorce, but still lived at home with the kids, and his ex. This did not set well with me as far as dating, but we stayed in touch, and over 3-4 consecutive Saturdays, he would meet me with the bike, coach me through 1st, 2nd, 3rd gear until I graduated to practicing in an office park. Over this time we got to be pretty good friends. I eventually bought the bike from him, took the official Harley safety class, and got my motorcycle license. I figured out that I would like to date him, we had some marathon discussions on our dates - because you don't make it to 39 being single without having learned what you don't want in a person, but what you want. I was able to articulate this quite clearly to Dennis. Obviously I was established in my career, I owned my own home, and I truly did not need a man to "take care of me". My independence did not scare him off. In fact, I think it became a challenge for him. During this time, we texted a lot and in one of my texts I had typed "you are my bug man". This was a typo - I had meant you are my 'big' man. Those of you who know Dennis - everything is "Dennis" sized - for a 6'2" big dude. He questioned my typo and I said - you shall always be my bugman. The name stuck (Although he does not like it) and this is how the BUGMAN came to be. Daily I say that I cannot believe I am so blessed this late in life as to have found my soulmate. Love you Dennis!