Suicide. It's the one mistake you won't live to regret.

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When I was 19, I worked with a beautiful girl named Lisa Gunn. We were lifeguards together for my first summer back from college and we worked almost every day together. We went to separate high schools, and different colleges but we got along great. I went to USC and her to Michigan State. She was a daughter, a sister and a great friend. Lisa was the kind of person that you wished you could be like because she was popular, well liked and she was amazing at everything. She was incredible at almost any sport. On top of this, Lisa was an academic whiz. Class Valedictorian, her grades were all As in high school, and she didn't drink or do drugs. She pretty much was perfect and on track to have an incredible life. But the pressure of everything had gotten to her. She had a close call her freshman year in college and was almost successful at taking her own life. She could not function, however everyone within her close sphere - family and friends - were not able to see the signs even after this incident. She was a master at acting normal, as if everything was just fine in her life. No one knew how bad it was for her. She even fooled the doctors. I asked her about it when we were working together, she opened up and said that she was much better and that things were looking up. As we both went back to our sophomore years at college, I felt like she was finally seeing the light and not only darkness. Then I got the phone call that she had taken her life. I went through all the typical stages - first disbelief, then denial, then anger, and finally sadness and complete grief. I racked my brain as to why I couldn't see the signs. I was mad at her for leaving me behind, and I was mad at myself that I could not have stopped her, helped her in some way. At the time I could not come home to Michigan for the funeral from South Carolina. I was beside myself about this. Lisa was the first person close to me who had passed on at their own hand. I had no idea how to cope with this - I was not equipped. I will never forget how this made me feel, and how sad I was for her family and their loss, and for her loss - not being able to live the incredible life I knew she had ahead of her. Lisa was a huge impact on my life and I still miss her and her spirit to this day.

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