SNAP OUT OF IT!

-
Depression is something that most people have an awareness of. If not personally having experience with it, they have a family member that has suffered from this in some form. More than just a bout of the blues, depression isn't a weakness and you can't simply "snap out" of it. Depression is a mood disorder and people who have never experienced it likely get frustrated with those who deal with it on a regular basis. Much like breaking a bone, if you've never experienced it, you cannot relate to what it is like to have it. Even worse, it does not manifest outwardly like a rash and most of the time, people withdraw. All of a sudden you are like - 'what happened to so and so? I haven't seen them in a while'. I have many family members and friends who have had intermittent bouts with depression. Obviously my 365 impacts are highlighting just how many of my loved ones that I've lost have suffered in this way.  Depression is my next impact.
I can say that there are 3 distinct times in my life when I had to seek help for depression, and I'm not embarrassed by it at all. If it happens again, I'll get help in a heartbeat.  

  • The first was in college when Darius and I finally called it quits. I could not get out of bed to go to class. No lie. My grades started to tank. I can honestly say this is the lowest I've ever felt in my life. I knew I needed help, and this did not feel "normal". Whatever normal is... Back at this time (in the 80s), this was when 'Prince of Tides' came out - no one discussed this type of thing, it was seen as shameful, you swept it under the rug. Everyone kept things hush-hush. I remember this movie having a profound effect on me at the time and when I watch it today, it still does.  
  • The second time I was in my late 20s, during the breakup of my second engagement, I sought out the help of a psychotherapist again. This time, I already had tools in my arsenal to get me through from my bout in the 80's, I just needed coaching. I was already on the right track.  
  • The last time I was depressed it was interesting, because it manifested as anxiety. When I worked at Moxie the first time in my early 30s, we were working CRAZY hours - like 80-100 weekly. I literally would have panic attacks. I didn't know how I was going to get it all done. When they say that stress can really take it out on you, cause depression, anxiety, physical disorders - believe it. This is when my asthma really got bad from stress. My mom literally had to shake me one night and say "GET A GRIP". This is when I knew I was losing it again and I needed to quit for my health's sake. 

Once you've had depression you can pretty much tell when someone else is suffering from it too. I seriously think this is why I've known so many people who have taken their lives - because I engage them in conversation, and ask them questions that most people would ignore the warning signs or not go there with the person. Nowadays, depression is something that is widely discussed and accepted. People know the warning signs - changes in eating, sleeping, social patterns. And THANK GOD for that. Cut your fellow man a break if he isn't upbeat, you never know what someone is going through.

Popular posts from this blog

Foreward:

-
Image
In 2018, I am finally going to start a blog working through 365 days of impacts on my life.   This is meant to tell the story of who I came to be in bits and pieces. This exercise is meant to show we are all shaped by the people, situations, circumstances, joys and sorrows that have impacted our lives. Sometimes we are influenced just as much through learning about what we don't want to be like, than what we turned out to be. Sometimes it is a stranger who makes a lasting impression on us, and we may never know their name. Sometimes it is those who've been the worst to us that actually teach us the BEST lessons. If nothing else, since I don't have kids, this will serve as an autobiography of experiences that have shaped my character since May 3 1965. I will try to include pictures where I needed. Some will not need pictures.  As I enter my 5th decade, I can look back and say that In my teens (as most are) I was extremely insecure, unfocused and had stage f...
Read more

Delirious

-
Image
I believe that I got the love of funk from my dad. Back in his day it was Ray Charles. One of the best memories I have of my dad is a trip we took in Christy's convertible from Atlanta to Albuquerque New Mexico. We were delivering Christy's car to her after she had accepted a position during the dot com boom at a startup called Super Groups. She had gone out early to take the job, had her stuff shipped from Atlanta out there, and then we drove her car out so she could have it out there. I had taken road trips with my family before and short ones with my Dad in Michigan, but this was the longest road trip we had taken together up to that point. We rode with the top down listening to all kinds of music. A little known fact of my dad is that he LOVED Prince. Mainly because my dad couldn't escape a good beat. But the funniest thing was we were listening to Prince's song Sexy M%&F$@. If you don't know, that song has a killer beat, and one that drummers love...
Read more

The Evil Twin

-
Image
MAY 10. Today I celebrate Katie Murphy for being a huge impact on my life. I met Katie through my cousin's wife. They were best friends and Katie and I were in the wedding party. It was a catholic wedding. We high fived on the "stage" when the priest annouced 'I now pronounce you man and wife'. I call her my evile twin and jokingly always say she is the evile one. I don't even know what year that was, but it was one of the best days in my life adding her as a friend. Katie and I have been great friends ever since through thick and thin. She throws a huge Easter party every year - and she has 11 total siblings, so the family could just show up and you'd have a party - but no less than 100 people are there every year. Her family is one of the most incredible family ecosystems that I have ever known. That many siblings, her parents, although divorced can be around each other with no drama which is amazing in today's day and age. She and I witn...
Read more